Tobi, I accidentally dyed your book blue.

Long story short:

I tripped, fell, wasn't feeling well so someone gave me a bottle of water and when I was ready to go I popped the water bottle in my bag.

What I didn't do was put the lid on properly.

So the water dripped out of the bottle, into my pencil case, through my mini blue highlighter and consequently onto the book I borrowed from Tobi.

And now Tobi's book is blue.

The end.

Things my boyfriend says to my best friend.

"Hey, Martha, Sam, when you guys make babies can I babysit?" says Tobi.

"Fuck no! My kids won't need babysitters. They'll have better things to do," says Sam.

"I think of Tobi less as a competitor and more of a team mate. We share a common goal," says Sam, about me.

"If I knew you girls looked this good, I would have actually come home," says [drunken] Sam on St.Patrick's day.

Things My Boyfriend Says

He says a lot of things.
But these two recent comments stuck out the most.

“You’re hair feels like something soft in a toilet paper ad.
Like the toilet paper, not the poo.”

“Eating yogurt lying down is always a bad idea. It’s all about strategy... and speed!”