Monday, March 15, 2010

Things my boyfriend says to my best friend.

"Hey, Martha, Sam, when you guys make babies can I babysit?" says Tobi.
"Fuck no! My kids won't need babysitters. They'll have better things to do," says Sam.

"I think of Tobi less as a competitor and more of a team mate. We share a common goal," says Sam, about me.

"If I knew you girls looked this good, I would have actually come home," says [drunken] Sam on St.Patrick's day.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

not4me

If you've taken the subway any time in the last three months, you probably will have noticed ads put out by the Canadian government that are encouraging youths to say no to drugs and instead spend their time roaming about a new website: not4me.ca

Recently, there was an article (which I am still desperately searching for but can't seem to find- I swear it exists) that I read online that pointed out that many alcohol ads warning against binge drinking only made the viewers want to binge drink.

I think that these recent advertisements about not4me.ca have been having a similar effect.
I really want to know if these advertisements are doing their job or if they are causing the opposite of what they intend. Are they intriguing or deterring?

They show photos of drugs- a marijuana is shown in one ad and a few tablets of colourful pills (presumably E or some other kind of upper) are shown in another.

Personally, the advertisements make me want to know more about the drugs.
The photos are intriguing.
They don't make me want to say no. They make me want to find out more.
This reaction is the complete opposite of the advertisements' intended reaction.

Solely looking at the website, it's a pretty hilarious website. The advice is so... well, it would not work.
They whole site just reeks of staunchy old people who are trying their best to be politically correct and seem as if they're doing something to make a difference.
Not to mention the testimonies in the "Share Your Story" section seem completely fake. I would go so far as to say that they are fake. I really don't think any kid who has gone through school system could be that naive and ignorant. Kids talk. Kids know. And by the time you're in grade 10, you can't pretend not to know.

Although, the site does have some really great picture-puzzles you can re-create if you'd like. I always love to spend my time putting together puzzles that feature a giant pile of weed. Fun!

But, again, this is just my opinion.

SUV: Symbol of Western ignorance (BEWARE: Ranting)

SUVs are the ultimate symbol of Western consumerism and ignorance.
They generally represent Western fatness- the over-consumption and wastefulness of North American culture.


Anyone that owns a ginormous SUV tends to have a ginormous ego to go with it.

1- They think that since they have this big huge car, they can take up as much space as they want in the parking lot or on the street.
I've seen people with big cars park in the middle of two parking spots, because they're just too important and too effing huge to park in only one single parking spot.
I've also seen people with huge cars stop in the middle of the street in order to pick up or drop off a passenger, because apparently their car is too big to pull over to the side of the road.

2- Apparently no idling by-laws do not apply to them. Especially in school zones where children are playing in school yards or in the middle of a packed street downtown.
I guess since they can afford the honking huge SUV they can afford the gas it takes to idle the thing. Does this mean that they can afford to have their children and grand children live in a purified-air capsule because there is too much smog outside to breathe normally?

3- They tend to be rude drivers, constantly honking and refusing to let other people in. If you've ever been on the DVP during a Friday-afternoon rush in the height of cottaging season, you know that people in SUVs tend to sit in traffic and honk their horn in hopes that the 800 cars in front of them will move faster. And God forbid you need to change lanes- there is no way that a-hole in the SUV is going to let you in because if they can be half a car's length ahead of you, by George they are going to keep that spot.


They also usually have either huge amounts of money (to be able to afford an over-priced and unnecessarily large vehicle) or they have huge amounts of debt (because they couldn't actually afford the over-priced overly-large vehicle but wanted to appear as if they could, and therefore put the SUV on credit and they now have a unnecessarily large debt pile).


But I'm not bitter.
Okay, yes, I am bitter. Very bitter indeed.


But mostly, I don't see the point in owning an SUV- especially in the city.
In a city like Toronto, you don't need a big car that is able to go cross-country. Our roads are generally well taken care of thanks to a tax-system- albeit there are a few pot holes, but even a bicycle can make it over those without many problems.

I suppose if you are an avid camper and you need a big 4X4 that will get you up that mountain's side, then an SUV is a the perfect option.
I also suppose that if you, for some reason, choose to live in the suburbs and you, for some reason, have to work downtown and can't take the subway because you are too far, then a car makes the commute much better. But I mean a car. A nice small or mid-sized sadan that serves it purpose. Better yet, get a nice small or mid-sized hybrid and save gas money and the environment.

But if you live in downtown Toronto, you don't necessarily need a car at all. Although a car does make that grocery run for a family of four waaay easier. So, yes, get a small car with that oh-so-convenient trunk space.

But PLEASE do not get an SUV.
It just makes you into one big giant gaping a-hole.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Spring Gardening


I can not wait for the ground to thaw just a teensy-bit more because (and yes, I'm sort of an old-lady) but I really like gardening.
I'm not big into fancy gardening, but I like to dig in the dirt, plant a few flowers, weed and water.
And, why not do this in style? Which is why I got a new gardening trowel, spade and gloves! And they match!
The only thing is, the gloves are inexplicably giving off the strange odour of glitter-glue.