Boys and cars

"Boys are like cars. You sort of just have to steer them away from a bad situation and wait until they slow down."

- Sam

Croissant

"Sam, did you eat that croissant?"
"No."
"You know the cat was eating that croissant."
"....."
"You ate it didn't you?"
"Yes."

That's Love

"Just love me! You can blow your nose in my hair!" said Sam, wanting a hug.
I had sneezed and needed to blow my nose.
That is love.

Things my boyfriend says to my best friend.

"Hey, Martha, Sam, when you guys make babies can I babysit?" says Tobi.

"Fuck no! My kids won't need babysitters. They'll have better things to do," says Sam.

"I think of Tobi less as a competitor and more of a team mate. We share a common goal," says Sam, about me.

"If I knew you girls looked this good, I would have actually come home," says [drunken] Sam on St.Patrick's day.

Things My Boyfriend Says

He says a lot of things.
But these two recent comments stuck out the most.

“You’re hair feels like something soft in a toilet paper ad.
Like the toilet paper, not the poo.”

“Eating yogurt lying down is always a bad idea. It’s all about strategy... and speed!”